This is an image of Phoenix, Arizona ina blog post on healing at Phoenix Arizona by Haripriya Suraj , Reiki Master
energy medicine, inner child

Places With Great Vibes: Phoenix, Arizona

Hills and palm trees wherever I looked.

A quaint little cafe that whipped up unique meals packed with taste and nutrition.

The large window in the housing complex that offered a breathtaking view of flights landing at the airport nearby.

This was at Phoenix, Arizona in March 2014.

The vibe at this city felt healing and comforting. And I felt at peace.

I was doing plenty of inner child work on myself back then. The time spent at Phoenix helped me to integrate this healing even deeper. Apart from helping my inner child, the healing that occurred during this visit also helped me become a more conscious parent to my son who was just two years old at that time. I sensed a big positive shift within me upon returning to India.

Some years later, I got to know that Arizona ( Sedona in particular) is considered to be a spiritual power spot.

I am not certain if the energy there also played a role in my healing. But considering that energy works in mysterious ways and I did get a wonderful feeling there, I would like to believe that the energy of the land contributed to my growth in some little way!

Over the years, I have noticed that being in certain places feels healing. And it isn’t always a spiritual power spot or someplace in nature. It could even be a random cafe, airport, or street. Some places just feel so wonderful and the logical mind has no clue why! During such times, soaking in the vibes with gratitude and allowing the experience to unfold without necessarily understanding it may be best.

This is an image of a little boy in an article on soul based parenting by Haripriya Suraj, Reiki Master
inner child, self love, unconditional love

Parenting From The Soul : Helping Children Overcome Shame

As sounds of laughter and chatter permeated the living room, he sat on a sofa with his head bent backward, arms folded and resting on his eyes.

On the surface, it appeared that he was just relaxing.

However, I looked deeper and knew that something was terribly wrong.

I gently raised his hands and saw that his eyes were filled with tears.

I softly said, “ Sweetheart, can we talk?”

He said, “No. I don’t want to. I’m OK.”

I persisted, “No, you’re not. And we need to talk.”

He sounded irritated and said, “No. I’m fine. Leave me alone. Alright?”

The evening went on like everything was great.

When we got back home and I could look into his eyes, I said, “ You’re feeling sad, aren’t you?”

He said, “No. I’m just sleepy.”

I went on in a neutral tone, “ You’re feeling sad because someone said you’re bad and your sister is good.”

And with that, he burst into tears and began to sob.

This was my son.

At a social gathering, someone we know commented casually that my ten-year-old son is ‘bad’ while my daughter, a one-and-a-half-year-old, is ‘good.’

I thought that was a ridiculous comparison! How can we compare a toddler with a pre-adolescent?

Secondly, how would a child feel to be told he is ‘bad’ in front of several people?

Children can be naughty. But to be labelled ‘bad’ for being a child, who has not yet developed a complete personality, didn’t feel OK to me. I saw potential inner child wounds developing right before my eyes and it gave me the shivers.

My heart went out to my son. I held him tight as he cried and let out all the shame he must have felt and suppressed while pretending nothing was wrong.

As giant teardrops rolled down his soft cheeks, he sobbed, “No one likes me.”

I said, “That’s not true. And you are not bad. Yes, we all do ‘inappropriate’ stuff at times and you have too. But doesn’t mean YOU are ‘bad,’ alright?”

I went on, “People may tell you worse things as you grow up. But remember this – just because someone says something mean or inappropriate, it doesn’t make it true.“

This was the best I could do at that moment.

My little daughter realised her brother was upset and began to stroke his hands, hoping it would comfort him!

He reached out and held her hand too.

I was so grateful my son didn’t resent his sister despite being compared unfairly with her. He sure seemed more mature than many adults in this regard!

I was also grateful he felt safe enough to feel his emotions in the presence of me and his father. We don’t believe in telling him “boys don’t cry.” We know it’s perfectly possible for boys to feel their emotions and still grow up to be strong and healthy Divine Masculines.

My husband Suraj and I had a discussion on this matter later that evening. We were wondering if we should confront the person who passed this comment and tell her that she ought not to say such things to our son again.

After a prolonged discussion, Suraj was of the opinion that it may be best to let it pass. I agreed.

We knew confrontation would not change anything. This person is known for being insensitive and seems to be set in her ways.

Besides, the outside world is not always kind and sensitive.

People can be petty, rude, unfair and mean. 

And while this isn’t ideal, we felt it’s best our son is exposed to some of the harsher realities of life.

As parents, we are always there for him to fall back on.

Since we are the most important adults in his life at the moment, we hoped us telling him that he is an amazing little person should suffice.

We hoped us telling him that he doesn’t have to internalize the unfair and unkind words of people would help him keep his self-esteem intact.

I know I had to try hard to discard the negative labels I received as a child so I could feel good about myself as an adult. And Suraj instinctively knew how to keep his self-esteem high despite facing some challenging situations himself.

And we hope we can train our son enough to hold himself strong, so he doesn’t find himself in the same situation as an adult.

We hope to be parents who can hold an unconditional space for their child.

On the same note, until he is an adult, we see ourselves as the primary authority figures in his life. We lay down rules and regulations for his safety and social development. And there are consequences to be dealt with when rules are broken.

We are certainly not perfect parents. And we lose it at times too.

Like generations prior, we do the best with what we know at the moment.

But with all our imperfections, we shall strive to help both our children keep two very precious assets alive within them – self-esteem and self-love.

This image shows a woman holding a teddy bear in an article on healing deeper wounds of love, approval and appreciation by Haripriya Suraj, Reiki Master
inner child, self love

When Love, Approval & Appreciation Don’t Come Your Way

“It’s eating me up from the inside,” she screeched, with tears streaming down her face.

She was breathing rapidly, her face looked pale and she seemed like a helpless child encountering powerful emotions that she didn’t know how to deal with.

“I can’t tolerate this anymore,” she went on, wiping her tears, “I’m done.”

Riya (name changed), a 40 year old woman I have been working with for a while came to see me for a matter that was troubling her greatly.

As a child, this woman and her sister saw her parents grappling with multiple interpersonal issues. There was persistent unrest in the household. As a result, there wasn’t much time or opportunity for her parents to show their love or appreciation to their children. She and her sister spent most of their childhood craving attention from their parents.

As a teenager and young adult, this woman developed an independent personality and chose a unique life path, much against the wishes of her parents. As a consequence, all possibility of appreciation or approval coming from the most important authority figures in her life was eliminated.

This woman is a successful entrepreneur today. She is blessed with a wonderful husband and two sons, who see her as their world. However, the void from childhood continues to bother her. It shows up as a silent monster time and again, and begins to chew away at her self-esteem.

As a consequence, this woman finds that she unconsciously seeks appreciation and approval from people old enough to be her parents, more so, if they are in positions of power and authority.

For several months now, she had been subconsciously seeking love, approval and appreciation from a senior couple (in positions of power) that she knows and looks up to.

She wasn’t sure if they withheld their appreciation intentionally or if they were just too busy to say a kind word to her.

Either way, it began to bother her tremendously. And that’s when she showed up for a healing session and burst out, “It’s eating me up from the inside.”

Considering she was feeling like a wreck, I helped her calm down first.

I personally find the energy healing tool Emotional Freedom Technique(EFT) is a great way to defuse strong emotions while accepting our emotions and self completely. We did a few rounds of EFT. The intensity of her emotions dropped significantly.  She felt a peaceful acceptance of herself despite all that was going on.

Acknowledging our emotions is half the work done. Once we come into acceptance of self, we automatically gain clarity on how we could support ourselves further.

She sipped some water and told me, “I can’t possibly rewrite my childhood or replace my parents. This void is something I will have to live with all my life. Isn’t it so Haripriya?”

I said, “ Riya, it is true some things cannot be changed. And we ALL have stuff like that to deal with. However, what can be changed is how you respond to this void and also what you choose to fill it with now.”

She was ready to help herself overcome this challenge. So, we went on to do a combination of healing processes to explore how the void could be filled and transformed into a source of power and strength.

  1. We began by doing some inner child work with a teddy bear that was symbolic of Riya’s inner child. The adult Riya hugged her inner child and told her– “ I see you. I cherish you. I love you. I am proud of you.” She did this exercise until her inner child felt truly seen by the adult and she was satisfied. I recommended she do this exercise for a fortnight and also have the teddy beside her while she slept. This is to aid deeper integration of self love into her being.
  2. We then spent some time meditating in the sun. I guided her to pull some of the sunshine up through her entire body and specifically into her power centre – the Solar Plexus. After feeling like she was being eaten up from the inside, the warmth of the sun felt nurturing to her body and soul. Don’t we all deserve some warmth and love for no reason except for the fact that are who we are? Being out in nature, amidst the trees, flowers, earth and sun can feel deeply healing.
  3. We concluded with a discussion on self-love. Seeing and loving ourselves with all our strengths, drawbacks, wounds and voids is empowering. And if we can love ourselves successfully, we don’t really need anyone to love or appreciate us. Ironically, that’s when the right people also begin to see and love us for who we are! And what about those who don’t? Well, it doesn’t bother us anymore!  And it certainly doesn’t ‘eat away’ at us.

Riya went home feeling lighter and happier. This doesn’t mean she was completely healed and this issue will never bother her again. We are all human and have highs and lows. Deep-rooted issues can come up time and again. But when we are aware and well equipped to handle our ‘stuff,’ there is nothing to be afraid of, for we know we can sail through any challenge that presents itself.

energy medicine, inner child, when spirit meets science

Did Santa Knock? Merry Christmas!

2007 was a year of several breakthroughs for me. So, it came as no surprise when the Christmas of that year felt extra special too!

I spent the Christmas of 2007 sauntering in the gardens of St John’s Hospital. The hospital had a beautiful giant crib set up to welcome Baby Jesus. My husband Suraj (then fiance) worked there at that time. Knowing my love for Christmas, he offered to show me around the hospital that was all decked up for the festive season.

My inner child felt excited to be present in that bright and colourful space of health and healing. I soaked up all the good vibes floating around.

As I walked around, a huge decorative star on one of the hospital buildings caught my attention. It had the message ” Peace on Earth” engraved on it.

A wave of peace literally washed over me when I read those words.

Being there in that divine space felt like the best Christmas present I could ever get that year! I often travel back in time to that day in 2007 and my body still warms up in joy and peace.

It’s 2021 now and Christmas is here again.

Life’s circumstances have changed. I have a lot more responsibility now. With two beautiful and active children running around the house, I am so happy but also often exhausted. Besides, a messy house with books and toys strewn all over, leaves me feeling grumpy! To make matters worse, a woman I had employed to help with housekeeping had to quit her job.

I recently appointed another young woman to help me around the house.

She spends a couple of hours here every morning. She walks in flashing a big bright smile and goes about her work with a spring in her step. All instructions I give her are received well and she executes them with sincerity. I thought she was being extra nice to me because I am her new employer. However, I soon realised she is equally nice to everyone. When I hear her talking to family on the phone, she sends out the same sweet vibes.

My grumpy moods heal just by listening to her phone conversations! To me, these kind of people who heal simply through their presence are human angels.

I often wished I would find a house help who would work with a smile on her face and my wish has been granted this Christmas. My inner child would like to believe Santa was the force behind this!

Merry Christmas!

This is an image of Haripriya Suraj in an article on Inner Child Healing in the blog When Spirit Meets Science
inner child, personal, reiki, self love, when spirit meets science

Bad Days: A Doorway To Healing

Have you ever had one of those days when a slight disruption in the morning sets off an explosive chain of negative happenings unfolding through the day?

Routines are shaken up unexpectedly, people you depend on don’t turn up when required most, gadgets malfunction mysteriously and you stub your toe to make things worse!

And we may then say we are having a ‘bad day.’

These bad days, while truly annoying on the surface, often offer hidden opportunities for growth and healing.

I believe these bad days are partly the result of the Law of Attraction at work.

In New Thought Circles, we believe we attract people, circumstances and situations we deeply resonate with, consciously or subconsciously.

In other words, our outer world is often a reflection of our inner world.

So, on days when it seems like everything’s going wrong, it may help to tune in to our inner world and check on what’s brewing there.

I recently had one of these days. I was frustrated and angry from the break of dawn.

I knew my reaction was disproportionate to what was actually unfolding in my reality.

When time did not heal my negative feelings and I continued to feel that way well into the afternoon, I realised I had to take matters into my own hands and work on healing myself.

I lit a few candles and meditated for a while. I then picked up my journal and began to write down everything that was bothering me.

I wrote and wrote until I reached a point where I couldn’t write further.

The final point in my writing revealed I was being anxious about my child for specific reasons.

When I delved even deeper, I discovered my anxiety was nothing to do with my child per se but more to do with my ‘inner child.’ I had been projecting my subconscious fears onto my child and this was causing me to feel frustrated and angry that day.

This is the point when we say we have touched the ‘root cause of an issue.’

As tears of joy and relief streamed down my face, I took the opportunity to connect to my own inner child, the little girl of nine or ten I was years ago, and comforted her.

I hugged her (represented by a soft toy) and told her she will be alright, and that she deserves the best that life has to offer.

I then tore into pieces the paper on which I had vented my feelings. This is symbolic of release and letting go of something you don’t need anymore.

I felt light as a feather after doing this Inner Child Work.

I felt wonderful that I got to be my own therapist that day and that I made the choice to set right that which was going wrong. This was the gift my ‘bad day’ offered to me.

It was a joy to connect baggage-free with my own children again!

This is an image in the article on inner child wounds , self love and self esteem in the blog when spirit meets science by Haripriya Suraj
inner child, reiki, self love, Spirit

Self Esteem & Self Love : Two Keys To Unlock Magic

As I sat down to pen this post, my head hurt and my heart felt heavy.

As children, many of us sought the attention and approval of people in authority, teachers and parents being primary. I found myself in a similar situation recently; like a little school girl not feeling good enough, because an authority figure refused to give me the validation I was unconsciously seeking!

How we viewed ourselves as children depended largely on how our elders viewed us. We felt good when they showed us their love and gave us their approval. We felt miserable when they withdrew their love and approval on account of something we did or didn’t do. If we had siblings, we may also have experienced bouts of jealousy when our sibling seemed to receive more attention or praise than us.

All of this is understandable because children are largely dependent on adults to meet their needs.

However, if we experience such emotions even as adults, they are like ‘wounds’ and need to be healed.

Such wounds can be healed completely or at least managed well when they show up. We do have the power to help ourselves.

Taking my own example, thanks to the intense inner work I have done and to my spiritual practices, I am able to manage my childhood wounds when they show up unexpectedly. I am aware enough to know when I am being sucked into a negative spiral. After some time spent moping, I make it a point to pull myself out of it with the support of tools such as Reiki, Meditation and Emotional Freedom Technique ( a healing modality that involves tapping on different points and areas of the body while making specific statements).

Self-esteem and self-love are two common areas that need attention in many of us.

While self-esteem points at how good we feel about ourselves, self-love is about our ability to love ourselves, exactly as we are – good and bad, amazing and flawed…

The easiest way to feel good about yourself is to go back in time and connect with the infant or young child you once were. You were born a blank slate. Your mind was empty and your heart pure. You were perfectly comfortable being who you were.

However, if you were repeatedly told you were a ‘bad boy’ or ‘bad girl’ or ‘hopeless kid,’ there is a possibility you may have internalised those labels. As an adult, you may not feel good about yourself unless certain people tell you how wonderful you are.

It is important to catch yourself when you find yourself seeking excessive approval or validation from others. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that external validation is not a measure of your worth. You are worthy simply by virtue of being a human being. Your talents and achievements build up your personality. They add value to your life and to the lives of others. But they are in no way a measure of your innate worth.

Bring your attention to your positive attributes. Think of at least three strengths you possess simply because of who you are. Give yourself the validation you seek. This will shift the energy and help you feel good about yourself instantaneously.

Learning to love yourself is another important milestone. The easiest way to love yourself is to accept that you are human, which means, you have feelings and emotions, good moods and bad, good days and bad. No one on this planet is perfect and neither are you. This does not mean you must make excuses when you err or make the same mistakes over and over again. It simply means you love yourself through all your ups and downs, highs and lows, good and bad times, empowered and weak moments.

I have personally found Emotional Freedom Technique to be very helpful when you need to address and release intense emotions and love yourself through it all. Explore this if you feel called to.

The reins to self-esteem and self-love must only be in your hands. Never hand them over to others.

Love can be shared more generously with others when you love yourself first.

You can help others feel good about themselves when you first feel good about yourself.

Loving yourself unlocks the magic of life!

It elevates your vibration and makes you a magnet to draw more goodness into your life.

Vibe high!