This is an image of a little boy in an article on soul based parenting by Haripriya Suraj, Reiki Master
inner child, self love, unconditional love

Parenting From The Soul : Helping Children Overcome Shame

As sounds of laughter and chatter permeated the living room, he sat on a sofa with his head bent backward, arms folded and resting on his eyes.

On the surface, it appeared that he was just relaxing.

However, I looked deeper and knew that something was terribly wrong.

I gently raised his hands and saw that his eyes were filled with tears.

I softly said, “ Sweetheart, can we talk?”

He said, “No. I don’t want to. I’m OK.”

I persisted, “No, you’re not. And we need to talk.”

He sounded irritated and said, “No. I’m fine. Leave me alone. Alright?”

The evening went on like everything was great.

When we got back home and I could look into his eyes, I said, “ You’re feeling sad, aren’t you?”

He said, “No. I’m just sleepy.”

I went on in a neutral tone, “ You’re feeling sad because someone said you’re bad and your sister is good.”

And with that, he burst into tears and began to sob.

This was my son.

At a social gathering, someone we know commented casually that my ten-year-old son is ‘bad’ while my daughter, a one-and-a-half-year-old, is ‘good.’

I thought that was a ridiculous comparison! How can we compare a toddler with a pre-adolescent?

Secondly, how would a child feel to be told he is ‘bad’ in front of several people?

Children can be naughty. But to be labelled ‘bad’ for being a child, who has not yet developed a complete personality, didn’t feel OK to me. I saw potential inner child wounds developing right before my eyes and it gave me the shivers.

My heart went out to my son. I held him tight as he cried and let out all the shame he must have felt and suppressed while pretending nothing was wrong.

As giant teardrops rolled down his soft cheeks, he sobbed, “No one likes me.”

I said, “That’s not true. And you are not bad. Yes, we all do ‘inappropriate’ stuff at times and you have too. But doesn’t mean YOU are ‘bad,’ alright?”

I went on, “People may tell you worse things as you grow up. But remember this – just because someone says something mean or inappropriate, it doesn’t make it true.“

This was the best I could do at that moment.

My little daughter realised her brother was upset and began to stroke his hands, hoping it would comfort him!

He reached out and held her hand too.

I was so grateful my son didn’t resent his sister despite being compared unfairly with her. He sure seemed more mature than many adults in this regard!

I was also grateful he felt safe enough to feel his emotions in the presence of me and his father. We don’t believe in telling him “boys don’t cry.” We know it’s perfectly possible for boys to feel their emotions and still grow up to be strong and healthy Divine Masculines.

My husband Suraj and I had a discussion on this matter later that evening. We were wondering if we should confront the person who passed this comment and tell her that she ought not to say such things to our son again.

After a prolonged discussion, Suraj was of the opinion that it may be best to let it pass. I agreed.

We knew confrontation would not change anything. This person is known for being insensitive and seems to be set in her ways.

Besides, the outside world is not always kind and sensitive.

People can be petty, rude, unfair and mean. 

And while this isn’t ideal, we felt it’s best our son is exposed to some of the harsher realities of life.

As parents, we are always there for him to fall back on.

Since we are the most important adults in his life at the moment, we hoped us telling him that he is an amazing little person should suffice.

We hoped us telling him that he doesn’t have to internalize the unfair and unkind words of people would help him keep his self-esteem intact.

I know I had to try hard to discard the negative labels I received as a child so I could feel good about myself as an adult. And Suraj instinctively knew how to keep his self-esteem high despite facing some challenging situations himself.

And we hope we can train our son enough to hold himself strong, so he doesn’t find himself in the same situation as an adult.

We hope to be parents who can hold an unconditional space for their child.

On the same note, until he is an adult, we see ourselves as the primary authority figures in his life. We lay down rules and regulations for his safety and social development. And there are consequences to be dealt with when rules are broken.

We are certainly not perfect parents. And we lose it at times too.

Like generations prior, we do the best with what we know at the moment.

But with all our imperfections, we shall strive to help both our children keep two very precious assets alive within them – self-esteem and self-love.

This is an image of heart made with hands in a blog post on Celebrating Love by Haripriya Suraj in her blog When Spirit Meets Science
unconditional love, when spirit meets science

Celebrating Love : Happy Valentine’s Day!

We all know a sweet energy that is invisible but is the essence of life itself.

This energy defuses difficult situations, heals hearts, and brings hope

It shines in the eyes of animals and is shared effortlessly by young children.

It is felt in the warm embrace of the parent, the sibling, the friend, and the beloved.

Through the years, we may discover that it can be felt in the embrace of pretty much any human being.

It is present in every single heart. If every heart on the planet taps into this essence completely, Earth would likely transform into ‘Paradise.’

It is often misconstrued to be the cause of pain and suffering. But, eventually, we realise it is a balm that heals pain and alleviates suffering.

LOVE – One of the most powerful forces in the Universe!

Love is to be celebrated every single day, yet having a special day to honour this sacred force is wonderful too.

May love heal any pain stored in your heart, bring you joy and lightness and make your life beautiful in infinite ways.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

This is an image of a gurudwara in a blog post on movies and tv shows that heal (Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi) by Haripriya Suraj,Reiki Master
divine feminine divine masculine, unconditional love

Movies & TV Shows That Heal: Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

The season of love is here and I feel inspired to write about a love story called Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi – an Indian movie released in 2008.

On the surface, this movie feels like a typical Bollywood blockbuster packed with music, dance, and romance. However, it also offers value to those who seek more than entertainment in movies.

I have watched this movie at least twenty times! Every time I watched it, my heart healed a little bit more!

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi is based on the life of a young woman Tani who loses the love of her life on the day of their wedding. She has no mother. Tani’s dying father sets her up with another man – his former student Surinder who he holds in high esteem. He wishes to see her safe and settled with a trustworthy partner before his transition. Surinder falls in love with Tani at first sight. However, Tani is overcome by grief and has no feelings for Surinder. She marries him only to help her father move on peacefully.

To many, this marital arrangement may seem like a ridiculous thing to do. However, if it can be understood as a well-intentioned father simply doing what he thinks is best for his daughter (in a culture where this is considered acceptable), what unfolds next is a treat for the heart and soul!

A cold-hearted Tani moves in with warm-hearted Surinder. Surinder is a sensitive soul and gives her space to come to terms with her challenges. He even moves into a different room and always talks to her with kindness and respect.

After a brief mourning period, Tani makes an effort to open up to Surinder. She beings to take charge of the house but is candid about the fact that she can never love Surinder.

Tani’s distance doesn’t deter Surinder. He continues to love her and does everything in his power to ensure she is happy.

The story takes an interesting twist when a new character Raj enters the scene. I will not give away more about Raj except for the fact that he is a potential threat to the Suri-Tani relationship.

Eventually, Tani finds herself torn between her feelings for Surinder and Raj. She feels obligated to Surinder because he holds an unconditional space for her. However, Raj is like a knight in shining armor!

Tani finally chooses Raj and makes plans to elope with him.

Before this plan can materialize, she happens to accompany Surinder to the Gurudwara- the place of worship for Sikhs. Still feeling unsure about where she is heading in life, she takes the opportunity to surrender to the Divine. She closes her eyes and converses with the Divine from her heart. She asks to be shown the Light.

She receives her answer the moment she opens her eyes!

And with this begins a whole new love story…

Thus, the title, “Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi” or “A Match Made In Heaven.”

Key Learnings

  1. Unconditonal love is powerful. It comforts, heals and turns situations around in unexpected ways.
  2. Love is not always about knights in shining armours or princesses in flowing gowns! Very often, people who appear ordinary are superheroes in disguise.
  3. We are never alone. When we call out to the Divine from the depths of our hearts, we are certain to receive an answer one way or the other ( as many of us have experienced).

This ia an image of Radha Krishna and depicts unconditional love in an article by Haripriya Suraj, Reiki Master, Bangalore on her blog 'When Spirit Meets Science'
divine feminine divine masculine, unconditional love, when spirit meets science

Radha-Krishna: Divine Mentors In Unconditional Love

Radha and Krishna – a divine couple that is symbolic of Higher Consciousness and Unconditional Love.

In February 2020, we were at a temple of Lord Krishna. I was drawn to a little idol of Radha & Krishna that was up for sale at the temple shop. I brought this home and placed it in my room.

Energy works in mysterious ways and I have no logical explanation to offer for how certain phenomena work. But simply having the energy of Radha-Krishna around me seems to have accelerated my growth in unconditional love.

I began walking the path of unconditional love in 2018. It deepened when I co-authored the book ‘When Spirit Meets Science’ with my husband Suraj in 2019. While Suraj had mastered unconditional love, I still had more work to do.

In hindsight, I feel bringing Radha-Krishna into my home also played a role in helping me make huge strides towards unconditional love.

It is hard to explain or theorize unconditional love. Though I knew what it meant on paper, I didn’t know how to embody it.

By the summer of 2020, life unfolded such that I was able to fully recognize and acknowledge the unconditional love that was present in my life and also give it back.

Dr. Newton Kondaveti, one of my very revered teachers of metaphysics, was presenting at a conference held some years back, when someone in the audience asked him a question-

“Does such a thing as ‘unconditional love’ actually exist in this world?”

His reply has stayed with me to this day. He said-

‘Love is always unconditional. Such is the nature of love. Conditional love is our erroneous creation.’

So, the question we must be asking is “Does conditional love actually exist?”

Deconditioning from the shackles of ‘conditional love’ and moving towards unconditional love was not easy for me. Challenges and tests were part of the journey. Unhealed wounds had to be dealt with and tears had to be shed. It often felt like my world was crashing down on me and all forms of love would disappear from my life. But it didn’t.

Now that I have reached destination ‘Unconditional Love’ successfully and continue to evolve, it feels like –

“Whoa! What a journey! What a feeling!”

All the turbulence I had to confront right from childhood feels worth it, considering where it brought me.

Unconditional love feels intoxicating in some ways and calming in other ways!

Words cannot do justice to it. Only experience can.

As I continue to explore the depths of unconditional love, I wish you a rich and rewarding journey into the realms of unconditional love within your heart!