This is an image of a woman praying with candles in an article on Ho'oponopono for dealing with difficult people by Haripriya Suraj, Reiki Master
when spirit meets science

Ho’oponopono & Medicine: Dealing With Difficult People

I am sorry

Please forgive me

I love you

Thank you

These are the four phrases of Ho’oponopono – a Hawaiian prayer and healing practice. I chanted them repeatedly because I overheard a disturbing conversation one morning.

I was rambling on cheerfully about something important to me when Suraj’s phone rang. It was a call from the hospital.

Suraj was eating his breakfast and put his phone on loudspeaker.

The anxious voice of a staff member on the other end said, ” Sir, the patient, and his family are being very difficult. They have been throwing tantrums ever since he got admitted. They complained that the blanket is not soft enough, the TV doesn’t offer enough entertainment, and the coffee in the cafeteria tastes awful. They yell constantly and none of us is able to reason or communicate with them.”

And all this just a couple of hours before being wheeled into the operation theatre for surgery.

As per hospital protocol, only one person is allowed to be in the room with a patient. But several family members managed to throw their weight around and barged in. And each person had their own complaints and demands.

Suraj hurried through his remaining breakfast and prepared to leave. I knew he had some challenging folks to deal with that day and decided my story had to be reserved for another time.

My stories are filled with kind people, angels in disguise, love, gratitude, healing, sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns! Darkness is part of my energy healing world too. Accepting and transforming the darkness within ( and helping others do the same) is part of every healer’s journey. But staying stuck in darkness and drama is not.

Healing and angels are part of the medical world too. However, they have to be excavated from within the predominantly heavy energy pool of illness, tantrums, aggression, and entitlement. And in the worst-case scenario – violence.

More so, with several hospitals offering star hotel-like facilities and services today, doctors are held responsible for even the coffee not being up to the patient’s taste! Like they personally picked the coffee powder!

The drama that unfolds in the medical world appears black and white to me. A large number of people who come seeking medical assistance are either complete angels, complete demons, or indifferent like robots. Unlike in the energy healing world, the chance of someone being a demon in a difficult moment and then transcending the darkness to discover the angel within seems less!

I found myself growing angry while I overheard this phone conversation. I don’t like the fact that someone I love has to deal with a handful of haughty people almost every day. And not just deal with them verbally, even operate on them!

Imagine having to cut open someone who is argumentative, fussy, rude, and demanding. How much more fussy would they be through their recovery period? How much more complaining and blaming would they indulge in and make life miserable for everyone attending to them?

Why does life have to be so complicated?

Why can’t people be more considerate of others’ feelings and emotions?

What is a bigger priority for patients and their families – that the surgery goes well and the patient recovers, or that a temporary tv and coffee match their needs perfectly?

Even if the patient isn’t happy with a facility in the hospital, isn’t there a courteous way to express discontent?

What is this attitude of, “We are paying money. So, we have every right to break all protocols, be rude to every staff member we encounter, and behave as we want!”

My mind was whirling with these disturbing thoughts and questions. I stopped and told myself that, practically speaking, there was nothing much I could do about this situation.

The world is how it is.

All I could do was be empathetic to my partner, offer to do some Reiki to help him clear the garbage he picks up energetically at work, and clear my own negative feelings about the situation. That’s when I began to chant the Ho’oponopono prayer.

In energy healing circles, we chant this prayer when we find ourselves in emotionally charged or challenging situations. The belief is we are ALL part of a larger web of energy and are connected on some level. Therefore, clearing our inner turmoil first is the key to the resolution of outer conflicts or challenges. Once our mind and heart are clear, we are either able to resolve a conflict harmoniously or the negative behaviour of another doesn’t bother us anymore.

With my steadfast faith and positive experiences with Ho’oponopono, I chanted it and let my anger go.

I then invested the same energy into envisioning a world where we can communicate with fellow humans without pulling their energy and spirit down. And followed it up by offering a quiet recharging Reiki session to Suraj later that evening.

I appreciate everyone who has to work in challenging setups and deal with difficult people and situations every day. It is no easy job. You all are Angels in disguise!

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